mtpoems

Sentiment tears me apart
bludgeoning everything I could have been
on the cliffs of my many shortcomings.
I have stood here before,
but never so solitary.
Come back and haunt me again
and I will be everything I never was,
everything you needed.

Time moves in increments measured
by random intervals, years stretching to an instant
and back again in a blink.
Seconds stretch for an eternity
but somehow find a way to move on,
and I try to convince myself
that I can do the same.
I can wake up without you in
shards of silver dawn,
tell myself it’s better this way
But despite the truth in those words
There is no longer life in my existence

You have made me
into the things I once dreamed,
radiating light through dusk
as though it was never gone.
I cannot recall exactly when
the light faded from the sea, but I
remember my misery when it was gone.
I ask you only
to carry whatever light you’ve retained
from the waves and breakers and the silence
to brighten the corners of your heart
as you once gave luminescence to every
dimension of who I have become

Time loses its meaning
in the falling of the rain,
becoming instead an elusive dream to
rest our shortcomings upon.
Train whistles interrupt the silence
but only for a second,
leaving it to close again
over the wounds in our hearts.

Lapis lazuli
emerald and the slightest hint
of gold
shadows just under the surface
of a solitude I could
never hope to breach.
waves emanating from your eyes
surrounding me with colors,
lapping against the edges of the vessels
from which I begged shelter.
The lighthouse is dimming now,
receding into the distance of what we once were
lost again to the undertow
and the pull of emerald waves

Prisons without bars
where I am captured in a forest
of dead and dying trees,
resisting the fires only
through flood.
I long for the sound of your voice,
but all I hear are the whispers
of dead and dying leaves.
Burn it all down
and reseed.

Shadows descend from every thought
shading what was covered by stars.
I don’t know how to find my way back,
but I know that you
Are somewhere within that fading.
I will not call off the search.
Every star guides me a fraction of a second
Closer to where you’ve forgotten how
To reflect it back to me.
In a life defined by darkness
you have been
every brief glimpse of light.

Shadows lighten when you’re near,
darkness receding at the sound of your voice.
I find the light disconcerting,
but I find myself yearning for it anyway
as you fill the empty spaces with
more of yourself.

The stars seem to have drifted to my line of sight
from a love poem that I used to know by heart.
I wish you were here to tell me their names.
I forget them, ancient Latin that I cannot hold on to.
Without a tomorrow
I see nothing before me worth the attempt.
Arbitrary blackness surrounds my understanding,
Sending me spiralling into depths unknown in my subconscious.
You are the only chance I’ll take.
You give me the faintest hope for something more
Than what I am.

I compose sonnets in my head,
Flowers and the scent
Of magnolia when I think of you.
Rain on pavement at dawn,
Becoming again this impossible
Lightening of spirit, and clean.
And you, with eyes reflecting fading stars,
Challenging the beauty of the sun
In its ascent.

Solitude breeds solace
In ways I can never understand.
You permeate the shadows with your scent
And somehow you were there before I knew you.
Even alone, I can breathe you in
And the thought of you resonates in my memory
Like a forgotten echo I heard
Somewhere long ago.

You always say goodnight
as if the stars are listening.
You bring me home from my imaginings
and give some light to the room
that no longer feels empty.
I wish I could explain
how incredibly gorgeous
I find the most simple of words
when you use them.

Even in silence you radiate eloquence.
Your eyes darken and speak volumes
despite your attempts to hide behind the lack of sound,
the absence of speech,
validating pain and enunciating loneliness
with the slightest glance in the opposite direction.

I envisioned a paradise while I was sleeping;
lapis lazuli lapping shores of purest white,
somewhere far but never forgotten.
I awoke with an image of some Caribbean island
still fresh in my mind,
and while I knew it wasn’t real,
I couldn’t shake its presence from my soul.
You were there with me. Not as
a tangible presence, but I felt
less alone somehow,
and it staved off the impending darkness.
Sometimes, the sound of your voice reminds me of
things I have never heard yet know are beautiful;
birdsong filtering through sunset
over the sea.

Pain recedes at the memory of your name,
the edges of blackness fading to a softer hue
until I can almost breathe again.
Somewhere behind all the sorrows we’ve endured
rests a fragile peace
beckoning to us in quiet assurances
that it will be all right.
Your voice reaches me in the faintest of whispers
almost louder than I can bear
and I am once again brought back to myself
by your presence alone.

I hide sometimes between
the edges of night and day,
waiting for the recollection of the way the world looked
before you became a part of it.
I know there were colors,
but in the memory of my life before you,
all I see are varying shades of grey.
You lend life to the hallowed halls of my past,
beaming sunlight into corners
where once silence reigned.
You have given back to me
the peace in the sunrise
and the clarity of dawn.
I could write for a thousand years
and never have words for
How much that love has given me.

Inexplicably, you remain
even in the presence of the darkest things I bury
somewhere unexplained and silent within me.
You see them regardless,
love them when I can’t bear the sight.
It’s almost akin to the birthing of a new star,
light cascading into blackness suddenly
like your love in the shadows of my consciousness.

I hear whispers where you used to be,
Calling me back from the desolation in myself.
I apologize that I can’t always answer;
Not that such a fact would ever cause you to stop.
Somewhere deep within the chasms I’ve created
You extend a sliver of light.

Stars flicker out on the edge of
some imaginary morning,
bidding farewell to my solitude in flashes of brilliance
made more intense by their descent.
They remind me of the way you brighten
every corner of my existence,
exuding peace and a sense of permanence
to all I once thought temporary.
I’m left standing on the brink,
suspended halfway between night and day,
where you lighten the outermost edges of my darkest corners
and present the light as something worth having.

I wallow in the seclusion of my own thoughts
forming remorse and the never-ending search
for some sort of inner sanctuary.
Sometimes I wonder if you’ll see me
the way you do now
when I’ve become weary of myself.
When my eyes have been bled of color
will you still see the stars in them?
They were always yours,
despite your attempts to believe the contrary.
My solace is found in the belief
that some day,
in a flash of silent understanding,
you’ll finally believe in your brilliance
even a fraction as strongly as I do.