mtpoems

Flashes of color
Filter through the window
Announcing sunrise and reminding me
That I've once again forgotten to pull the shades.
Strange how the morning bathes it all in gold
The weathered siding of the dilapidated houses,
The street full of rusting cars
And the memories I've banished back to dreams.
It amazes me that something so fleeting and impermanent
Can remind me so very much of you,
Of the way your eyes light up when you smile,
That I want to see it again, to hear your voice again so badly
That I would go back
To every broken heart at the moment it was broken
To see that same sunlight reflected
Back at me in your eyes.
I smile, for the first time in my life
And close my eyes, not to block the sunlight
But to let it filter through the brick and mortar around my heart
To let some warmth in.

1-7-11

I couldn't hope to keep you here with me
as your soul is pledged to someone else
and yet your face is all I ever see
in sweetest dreams when you are mine and else

I cannot see the sorrow in your smile
nor taste the bitter longing in your tears
and even if you go a million miles
from me, I swear that I will love you through the years

And should you find your solace in her love
She'll never love you more than I still do
even if her devotion is above
what you told me I didn’t feel for you

But still I did, and darling, I still do
I'll always be somewhere, in love with you

1-7-11

Love Sonnet Unnumbered

I write a thousand sonnets to my love
but still I cannot find her save in dreams.
Each night I pray to what may be above
that I shall find her within starlight's beams

I would take her in my arms to not let go
and she would never want for anything
as all she asks for, I will always show
the truest love on earth in what I bring.

But still the Fates prevent me see her face
and dreams the only way I can behold
her beauty, which I shall forever chase
for I know that her eyes are laced with gold.

Into the sunlight, angels doth decree
her hand in mine, the sweetest poetry

1-06-11

Sentiment tears me apart
bludgeoning everything I could have been
on the cliffs of my many shortcomings.
I have stood here before,
but never so solitary.
Come back and haunt me again
and I will be everything I never was,
everything you needed.

Time moves in increments measured
by random intervals, years stretching to an instant
and back again in a blink.
Seconds stretch for an eternity
but somehow find a way to move on,
and I try to convince myself
that I can do the same.
I can wake up without you in
shards of silver dawn,
tell myself it’s better this way
But despite the truth in those words
There is no longer life in my existence

You have made me
into the things I once dreamed,
radiating light through dusk
as though it was never gone.
I cannot recall exactly when
the light faded from the sea, but I
remember my misery when it was gone.
I ask you only
to carry whatever light you’ve retained
from the waves and breakers and the silence
to brighten the corners of your heart
as you once gave luminescence to every
dimension of who I have become

Time loses its meaning
in the falling of the rain,
becoming instead an elusive dream to
rest our shortcomings upon.
Train whistles interrupt the silence
but only for a second,
leaving it to close again
over the wounds in our hearts.

Lapis lazuli
emerald and the slightest hint
of gold
shadows just under the surface
of a solitude I could
never hope to breach.
waves emanating from your eyes
surrounding me with colors,
lapping against the edges of the vessels
from which I begged shelter.
The lighthouse is dimming now,
receding into the distance of what we once were
lost again to the undertow
and the pull of emerald waves

Prisons without bars
where I am captured in a forest
of dead and dying trees,
resisting the fires only
through flood.
I long for the sound of your voice,
but all I hear are the whispers
of dead and dying leaves.
Burn it all down
and reseed.

Shadows descend from every thought
shading what was covered by stars.
I don’t know how to find my way back,
but I know that you
Are somewhere within that fading.
I will not call off the search.
Every star guides me a fraction of a second
Closer to where you’ve forgotten how
To reflect it back to me.
In a life defined by darkness
you have been
every brief glimpse of light.

Shadows lighten when you’re near,
darkness receding at the sound of your voice.
I find the light disconcerting,
but I find myself yearning for it anyway
as you fill the empty spaces with
more of yourself.

The stars seem to have drifted to my line of sight
from a love poem that I used to know by heart.
I wish you were here to tell me their names.
I forget them, ancient Latin that I cannot hold on to.
Without a tomorrow
I see nothing before me worth the attempt.
Arbitrary blackness surrounds my understanding,
Sending me spiralling into depths unknown in my subconscious.
You are the only chance I’ll take.
You give me the faintest hope for something more
Than what I am.

I compose sonnets in my head,
Flowers and the scent
Of magnolia when I think of you.
Rain on pavement at dawn,
Becoming again this impossible
Lightening of spirit, and clean.
And you, with eyes reflecting fading stars,
Challenging the beauty of the sun
In its ascent.

Solitude breeds solace
In ways I can never understand.
You permeate the shadows with your scent
And somehow you were there before I knew you.
Even alone, I can breathe you in
And the thought of you resonates in my memory
Like a forgotten echo I heard
Somewhere long ago.

You always say goodnight
as if the stars are listening.
You bring me home from my imaginings
and give some light to the room
that no longer feels empty.
I wish I could explain
how incredibly gorgeous
I find the most simple of words
when you use them.

Even in silence you radiate eloquence.
Your eyes darken and speak volumes
despite your attempts to hide behind the lack of sound,
the absence of speech,
validating pain and enunciating loneliness
with the slightest glance in the opposite direction.

I envisioned a paradise while I was sleeping;
lapis lazuli lapping shores of purest white,
somewhere far but never forgotten.
I awoke with an image of some Caribbean island
still fresh in my mind,
and while I knew it wasn’t real,
I couldn’t shake its presence from my soul.
You were there with me. Not as
a tangible presence, but I felt
less alone somehow,
and it staved off the impending darkness.
Sometimes, the sound of your voice reminds me of
things I have never heard yet know are beautiful;
birdsong filtering through sunset
over the sea.

Pain recedes at the memory of your name,
the edges of blackness fading to a softer hue
until I can almost breathe again.
Somewhere behind all the sorrows we’ve endured
rests a fragile peace
beckoning to us in quiet assurances
that it will be all right.
Your voice reaches me in the faintest of whispers
almost louder than I can bear
and I am once again brought back to myself
by your presence alone.

I hide sometimes between
the edges of night and day,
waiting for the recollection of the way the world looked
before you became a part of it.
I know there were colors,
but in the memory of my life before you,
all I see are varying shades of grey.
You lend life to the hallowed halls of my past,
beaming sunlight into corners
where once silence reigned.
You have given back to me
the peace in the sunrise
and the clarity of dawn.
I could write for a thousand years
and never have words for
How much that love has given me.

I hear whispers where you used to be,
Calling me back from the desolation in myself.
I apologize that I can’t always answer;
Not that such a fact would ever cause you to stop.
Somewhere deep within the chasms I’ve created
You extend a sliver of light.